Scarlett Letters

I am not what anyone would call an especially skilled or inventive cook. I'm actually a little afraid of it. With the exception of a few dishes I either cook regularly (variations on baked chicken, several kinds of pasta, eggy sorts of things, for example) or elaborate things that I've made often enough to be confident about (lasagna, brisket), I actually feel kind of, well, useless in the kitchen. (Okay, okay, looking at that list I just made, I guess I'm not completely useless.)

In an effort to change this, I purchased a Weight Watchers cookbook. (I actually have a whole library of cook books, but no one 's ever seen it.) And every time I open the thing for ideas I might try, I get overwhelmed. Braise this, strain that, brown this stuff all together, but not too long, or just long enough, or ... or ... or ...

I have friends who are serious foodies. I have friends who are serious cooks, or have spouses who are serious cooks. And whenever I think about cooking for them, I just get intimidated.

I'm going to be doing quite a bit of entertaining this weekend. I just sat down with that damned cookbook, and all I can think is: I'm going to either undercook this or burn it, overspice it or dry it out. Who am I kidding?

I have enough evidence that I can cook if I want to. I know it. I do. But every time I'm faced with something a little more complex than the basics, I just freeze up. And I just have this fear that I'm going to cook something and everyone will smile at me and underneath be thinking--wow, I can't tell her that this is crap.

I've got to get over this. ::sigh::