Scarlett Letters

It's clearly holiday time because All the Gatherings are gathering.

On Friday night, I kept a promise to see SL play with her band, Vixy & Tony at the Wayward Coffeehouse. It was their new CD release party. They played two sets, a combination of original music, covers, and filks. (It's the first time I've ever heard a mash-up of the Mahnah Mahnah Song and Kashmir--and probably the last! It worked way better than it had any right to. It takes a special kind of genius to come up with that.) I had the pleasure of seeing oldmangrumpus, along with LS, AH and a number of others. The show was great, a lot of fun, and certainly the most purely fannish thing I've done in months.

Saturday was Productive Day: chores around the house and holiday shopping (of which I've done nearly none this year, but more on that in a moment). Saturday evening was NK's annual holiday party. Usually the agenda is chat, hors d'hoevres, drinks and charades. Two of the guests rebelled against charades, which has been a staple of the party for years. They proposed a different game, which never got played. NK was somewhat dismayed, but in the end, a good time was had by all and I was glad to be there.

Sunday was about getting more chores done. Gifts were completed and wrapped, and I attended varina8's annual holiday gathering. It was smaller this year due to V's slimming the list and people being unwell. It was good to see her C; given his ongoing illness, he was actually looking good, and was in fine spirits and good form. And of course it's always a delight to spend an evening with the usual suspects: EB, ironymaiden and her C, mimerki and butterflydrming. I was glad for a quieter get-together. After the weekend--and the year, frankly--it was a welcome thing.

Regarding holiday shopping: there's been almost none this year. Finances are tight right now as I continue to pay off medical bills. I also spent quite a bit preparing for the company craft fair. I probably broke even there, but still have plenty of stock should I decide to indulge in such madness again. I suppose I ought to write about that experience at some point. But I digress.

In any case, the second half of the year has been at least as expensive as the first. The first half of the year's costs involved travel and bathroom renovation; the second my hospital stay. I've promised myself some serious financial discipline for the first few month of the new year to try to repair the financial damage. We'll see how it goes.

And now, on to the work week....

Time continues to fly. I think it's partly because our perception of time changes as we get older and partly because I've been keeping enormously busy. Yesterday, my body finally said, "Enough!" I spent the morning alternately sleeping and getting little things done (and Skyping with skidspoppe). I spent the afternoon being productive. I spent dinner with suricattus and later an hour or so Skyping with davidlevine--good visits, both.

Things in general can be summed up as follows:

Work: Someone at the office may be keeping tabs on my LJ. Why do I think this? Because within days of my last post, whence I complained about not feeling challenged, I was named product owner for the shopping experience on the website for 2017. (Of course, I mentioned in my annual self review that my biggest challenge at work was that my ambition and skill set outstripped my authority, my influence and my reach. That may have had something to do with it.) It's a big responsibility, and I suspect that it's a test run for work yet to come. I'm excited and scared and hoping that I can rock it like a rocking thing. We'll see.

Travel: My trip to San Francisco looms. I'm looking forward to seeing the family and to seeing local friends. I'm looking forward to sightseeing as well. My brother and sister-in-law travel a little differently than I do, so it will be interesting to see whether or not our styles mesh. But overriding it, I suspect, will just be getting to see them and my niece. Also, EB and I have purchased our tickets to fly to Ireland in July. Very excited about that. I've been reading a history of Ireland; I'm up to the early 1600s. That's a lot of warfare for such a small place! Next on the planning schedule is figuring out where we're going and staying. We've made up a wishlist of things to see and do; more to come when I get back from California.

Bathroom renovation: I've gotten the prep instructions from the contractor. The letter is calling for my clearing 200 square feet of space so they can stage the work. Also, to cover anything near the work area in plastic. I'm not sure exactly how I'm going to do all that, but it seems clear that it will be necessary. I've got a weekend put aside specifically for this work, so I'll get it done, one way or another.

Ecumenism R us: I attended the baptism of MG's son on Saturday. I've never attended the actual service for such a thing before, only the after-party. But MG needed someone to be a photographer and I stepped up. Religious ritual in general interests me, always has, and getting a glimpse into Catholic practice was fascinating. There is some commonality with Jewish practice, but where there are differences, they are dramatic. It was lovely to see MG so happy and excited, and I was happy to be present. At the same time, there was a moment when I was distinctly uncomfortable. The reading from the Gospel was, well, pretty hostile to Jews. I was a guest; I didn't say anything about it. But clearly I was not the audience for this particular thing. And it was not in anyone's interest for me to rain on what was, for MG, clearly a special day. I took about 130 pictures, winnowed them down to the 30-or-so best of the bunch and shared them. The after-party was small but pleasant. And I learned a thing or two about Catholicism that I didn't know before. As long as I'm learning, I'm good.

I go into this week with a pretty clear schedule of Things That Must Be Done: dentist appointment, haircut, Pesach plans, and then a flight to parts south. It's going to be busy, but I'm hoping it's all going to be good. Fingers crossed!

Saturday started with breakfast back at Sante--so good we had to do it twice. This time, davidlevine and I got there earlier and enjoyed our meal with rather better service. The company was different; we met AS (with whom I used to work at Bantam, lo these many years ago) and her husband DKM, their son, and a friend of theirs, and bjcooper. It's only within the last year or so that I'm back in touch with AS and DKM; they are delightful people who have had a very rough time over the last decade for personal reasons I won't get into here. Suffice it to say that those days are over and I'm so happy that they're returning to conventions and a wider social circle. Our breakfast was scheduled earlier both because there was another beading event I wanted to attempt to attend, and because other folks had programming on which they were scheduled to appear.

I made it back to the convention center with time to spare. I wanted to attend a program called the Beadwork Stitch & Bitch--but if you read the description in the program more closely, it was actually a lesson in Lakota lazy stitch or lane stitch beadwork. I was delighted to find madrobins in attendance. I'll pass over the challenges of the workshop (particular attendees were not congenial to the environment) and say instead that the instructor, Mir Plemmons, was very good indeed, sharing cultural context for the style of beadwork she was teaching and then teaching it very well. An hour was not nearly long enough; I ended up staying a little longer. I very much want to get back and try this technique again. I've seen its results before and it produces beautiful things that take hours and hours and hours to create.

Lunch was with davidlevine and madrobins, all in all a much better opportunity for us to talk a bit. A lot of what we talked about was getting lost in historical research connected to fiction writing. I regret not taking a picture of us all together; ah well, there will be other opportunities!

After lunch, I took my penny-smashing kit and my camera off across the river to Riverside Park. The weather was beautiful in the wake of Friday's terrible air, the sky blue and clear. The contrast was marked. Look at how lovely--and contrast it to my previous WorldCon post picture of the sky!

View from the convention center to Riverside Park | Click to embiggen


I got my pennies--eight coins, four each from different machines--and strolled around just enjoying the quiet (the convention center was very noisy) and the relative lack of people (I was kind of peopled out).

When I went back to the convention center, I ran into oldmangrumpus and some friends in the dealer's room. I learned from them that tickets for assigned seating were going to be required for the Hugo Awards ceremony. This was news to me and, as it turned out, news to a great many folks. Apparently, the previous night, the convention had set up a ticketing system for the masquerade, mainly to keep people from standing out in the terrible air waiting to get into the main auditorium. It worked very well indeed and they decided to institute it for the Hugos as well. I took it upon myself to text almost everyone I knew attending the con who might want to go to let them know about this, and then ran to get changed.

Once I got changed, I got into the rather impressive line. The wait was no more than 20 minutes.



Tickets acquired, I met David and Betsy for dinner at Luigi's, the huge Italian restaurant near the convention center. I had the chicken marsala, which was very good indeed. We shared garlic bread and salads, too.

The virtue of the assigned-seating ticketing was that once tickets were in hand, we could get in at any time before the ceremony and be assured of seating. As it turned out, this was a blessing. It allowed us to have a pretty leisurely meal (even though I started out feeling panicked about having enough time to at), and to take our time about getting seated when the time came.

And when the time came, we went to the auditorium lobby, met some friends there, admired everyone's bling, and then went to get seated.

I'm going to talk about the Hugos, the Hugo Loser's Party and my thoughts about this year's whole Puppy debacle in the next post. There's too much to say and I want to address it all discretely. In the meanwhile, here's a pic of me and my seatmates, pre-awards-ceremony, with David and Betsy, and me in the middle.

We arrived in Spokane on Thursday afternoon. I dropped BM off at her hotel and headed to mine. Time was of the essence. I had to check in. I wanted to take a little decompression time in the wake of all the driving. I had to find dinner of some kind and get ready for one of the two panels on which I was to appear. I actually did pretty well, with enough time to get registered, get my guest packet, do a turn through half of the dealer's room, and buy myself a beautiful new ring with three semi-precious stones in it. I had an . . . adequate sandwich at the convention center snack bar before my first panel.

So dinner was a Thing. See, when you hang around conventions and fandom long enough, you get to know the names of the BNFs (big name fans) and you begin to recognize people who surely won't recognize you. I was sitting at a table where two older women were seated, mainly because all the other tables were full. They were chatting in clearly New York accents about filk and about people they knew. And one oft them, for some reason, seemed familiar. There was something about her that I seemed to know though I couldn't place her. I looked at her name badge, and she turned out to be Roberta Rogow, a well-known fan writer and filker whose work I'd known back when I was active in New York and media fandom. That was a kind of nice surprise. We chatted a little bit. She talked about her self-published book. And then we went our separate ways.

I was off to my first panel, on using role-playing games as a writer's tool. It was not a satisfying experience. I understand why I was put on the panel, but I had my doubts about it from the start. Mostly two particular people talked a lot; getting a word in was challenging. And while I've edited game-related works, my experience as an RPG player is limited. Most of what I had to say was more about writing than gaming, and another editor on the panel pretty much took care of that material. By the end of the panel I felt a little frustrated and, I admit, a little irritated and outgunned. I got out of the room as soon as I could.

The rest of the evening proved much more satisfying. Earlier in the day, I was invited to a private party and spent the better part of the evening there, catching up with friends and basking in the sort of convention energy I just love. What became clear, though, by about 10 PM was that after a six-hour drive and a lot of excitement, I was wiped and it was time to retire.

This is a terrible picture of me, but it's a great picture with friends at the party.

It's been busy days around chez scarlettina. Planning for this past weekend actually started months ago when garyomaha told me that he and elusivem were going to be in Seattle for a visit. We made some plans--and then suddenly davidlevine was available for a visit the self same weekend. And so began the social whirlwind that this weekend became.

David arrived on Friday night. Saturday we spent the afternoon at the Fremont Solstice Parade, which David hadn't attended since his Clarion West sojourn in Seattle. The parade has exploded since then both in terms of attendance and the scope of the event itself. The day was sunny and warm, and we arrived early to secure a good spot in the shade. It was, as always, raucous, political, joyful. I think my favorite entries in the pageant-cum-party were the stilt walkers, the giant preying mantis puppet, the portrayal of a spouting oil rig surrounded by kayaktivists, the giant bigfoot on the Cascadia Now float, the sharknado (a tornado festooned with blow-up sharks and air sleeve sharks) and, of course, the naked bicyclists. We had to leave before the parade's end, however, because we had plans for the evening with Gary and M.

I haven't seen Gary and M since JayWake, and this was a much better circumstance overall for a visit. We met them, along with their friends Don and Clark and (forgive me) a woman whose name I've forgotten, for dinner at the 5 Spot at the top of Queen Anne. It was lovely seeing them; I was so delighted. It was a nice chance to catch up before we headed down the hill for the evening's entertainment: a concert by the Seattle Men's Chorus, a program of music by Queen.

I've never seen SMC before. They're sort of a musical institution in Seattle and it seems ridiculous that I've waited this long to see them. A couple of the men who sang with SLGC sing with them now. Between the program and a chance to see those folks and, of course, the company, I was very much looking forward to the evening. Its also one of the last shows to be directed by the chorus' long-time, well-respected director Dennis Coleman. And they put on quite a show, with a guest actor/singer who strongly resembled Freddie Mercury singing lead on a couple of numbers, some excellent soloists (stronger, I thought, than their guest Freddie) and some terrific vocal arrangements. I've sung Queen in concert; I know how hard some of the music actually is on examination, so I had a great appreciation for what the chorus was doing, and they did it very well indeed. We had a marvelous time, and I think many people, like myself, left the hall bouncing and singing.

Sunday was a much quieter, more low-key day, and very much what the doctor ordered. In the morning, David and I met the usual suspects for writing at Ballard Coffee Works. We had lunch at The Market Arms and then spent the rest of the afternoon walking around Ballard, strolling around the locks and just soaking up the sun. A bagpipe band was performing on the green. A classic car show was being held with a parade of absolutely gorgeous classic cars. Down by the locks, two seals dipped in and out of the water trolling for salmon smolt; a heron looked on, dipping for smolt as they passed by. We saw salmon swimming through the fish ladder, and watched as the gates of the locks opened and closed for pleasure craft navigating the passage.

The evening was quiet, pleasant. We watched the second episode of "Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell," which I've been quite enjoying. David took off yesterday morning.

Lovely weekend. Pleasant. Full of good people, good things. The coming week promises more goodness. We shall see.

Several friends have mentioned to me this week that they had attended Chanukah parties. These friends are all far away. No one locally is having Chanukah parties; such a small percentage of my local friends are Jewish, and most of them are involved with their families. No parties were in the offing. So yesterday, as is so often the case when I want to have a Thing, I decided to have a Chanukah/latke party this afternoon for myself, which is what I did.

I invited about 10 people over, only one of whom is actually a member of the tribe (that being my most fine and precious suricattus). She brought delicious home-made apple sauce. EB and CH brought Martinelli's Sparkling Cider. varina8 brought veggies and hummus. I made and served many latkes. I lit my chanukiah. I read everyone a charming little picture book called "The Hanukkah Mice." And I enjoyed the company of my friends. It was a goodness.



And now the house is quiet and still, and smells like latkes. It was quiet and still before the party and I felt terribly lonely. I don't quite feel that way now, but I'm not ready to go to bed. Perhaps I'll read for a while and then hit the sack. I hope the kitties come to sleep with me. It's always better when they're both there.

Right now, I'm looking for reasons to be cheerful. So here's a list:

1) I got to spend a lovely, quiet Thursday evening with ironymaiden, who was perfect company after a tough week. W had pizza for dinner, then sat by the fireplace place talking, drinking whiskey, and discussing girl things. It was a perfect visit.

2) I got to attend a friend's large, fun 60th birthday this past weekend. She booked the Fremont Abbey for the event, which turned out to be a pretty terrific party venue. She had a DJ and bar upstairs, and a gaming room and food downstairs. I invited suricattus along to meet some of the locals and party along with us. I danced a lot because I really wanted to, and without realizing it ended up leading some folks doing the Time Warp. Apparently this is now one of my roles--and one I gladly embrace. Rocky Horror was so formative an experience for me; the Time Warp seems to have become my personal folk dance. We had a pretty great time.

3) I had a small group of friends over this past Sunday night to watch the series premier of The Librarians, the new TV series based on the three Noah Wylie TV movies. It was light, goofy fun, very much what was needed. I was glad to have friends over--EB, suricattus, varina8 and oldmangrumpus--for a pleasant, low-key evening.

4) I've been reading a book on loan from varina8 called People of the Book by Geraldine Brooks and quite enjoying it. It's about an old, mysterious, and beautiful haggadah, and the book restorer who's been asked to conserve it and learn about its history. The book alternates between stories from the haggadah's history and the conservator's search and her life. It's very well-written, very well-managed. As I continue to try to navigate my way through writing my own novel, I find myself examining things like structure from an entirely new perspective and it's a fascinating way to read.

5) I spent so much time away from home last week that I've been savoring being home with the kitties. It's hard for me to leave for work--for pretty much anywhere right now--that will mean being away from my four-footed housemates. With the coming of the cold, they've both been pretty cuddly, and I can't say that I object.

I've been feeling and thinking about other things, too, how relentlessly dark it's been, how I seem to be coming down with a cold, how I'm not ready for the holidays, how unhappy I am with my weight right now. But I'm not going to dwell upon them here. Right now, it would serve no purpose. I'm going to go spend some time playing with Zeke. I don't think there's been quite enough of that.

Sunday morning we rose to meet davidlevine, kateyule, Amanda and her husband Brad for breakfast at David's. It was a clearly a local joint, the place everyone goes to for brekkies, the wait staff familiar and friendly to the patrons. Breakfast was basic and hearty--eggs, more eggs, pancakes, and eggs. For me, it was exactly the way to start the day, in good company with the kind of breakfast I really enjoy when I travel.

We parted company at that point, with David, Kate, Amanda and Brad hitting the road back to parts north. Jeremy and I met Elizabeth at the place where she was having brunch with the bridal party. We saw Shannon and Mark there and arranged for dinner that evening. Then three of us hit the road for some sightseeing.

Our first stop was Mendocino Chocolate Company in Fort Bragg. We each purchased some treats, used the nearby cash machine and then continued on.

We headed south to Mendocino proper, which turned out to be this adorable little tourist town perched on a bluff overlooking the sea. Our main goal there was to get some knitting needles for Elizabeth, but we ended up poking around the shops. Predictably, she came away with not just needles but yarn as well. At the same shop, I bought some buttons for a button bracelet project I'd like to do. The gardens around the shops were beautiful, with all sorts of native plants that bloomed with flowers we'd never seen before. We stopped at a jewelry shop called Silver & Stone, where E purchased a very chic pendant, a trio of what I think were glass ovals each progressively smaller than the one above, really lovely. As an early holiday gift to me, she chipped in for a gorgeous pair of earrings featuring carved abalone which I wore for the rest of the weekend.

We strolled about town a bit more, admiring the view of the rocky shore and the crashing waves, the eccentric sculpture above the bank called "Time and the Maiden," and the sweetness of the small shops and cottages along the streets.

( Expand for pictures )

We headed back toward Fort Bragg and made two stops along the way. The first was at the Mendocino Coast Botanical Gardens. Jeremy was inspired by the gardens we saw in town and is plotting his gardening at his new place, so we poked around the nursery on the grounds for ideas. Lovely plants, and I would have purchased one or two if there hadn't been a flight between there and home. Our second stop was the Sea Glass Museum, where we learned about the different kinds of sea glass and its source. The pictures on the web site make the place look much bigger than it is; it's really a tiny house split up into three or four rooms of exhibits with a lot of samples and some history, as well as a gift and book shop. There, we acquired a map of the glass beaches around town and planned for some beach combing.

As it turned out, beach combing required our navigating a path around some construction, and then scrambling down some pretty steep bluffs to get to the shoreline. Jeremy was the only one really dressed for any kind of scrambling or climbing, so he took a totebag, scrambled down the bluff, and retrieved a bag full of treasures that we picked through for souvenirs. There will be art and jewelry making this weekend if I can help it.

( More pics )

It rapidly became clear to my companions--because apparently it's rarely clear to me--that I was sugar crashing. We found a restaurant with a coastal view and stopped for wine and a salad. Afterwards, more beachcombing, this time at the mouth of the Noyo River, resulted in Elizabeth finding a three-pound hunk of beach jade nearly the size of a brick. Veiny and gorgeous and richly green, it's a real treasure.

We went back to the hotel so I could change for dinner and so that Jeremy could stretch out for a bit, and then we headed out to meet Mark and Shannon. We were also joined by Mark's mother and his friend Mike who had acted as DJ for the party. Dinner was sushi of all kinds, and it was a delight to be able to sit with a small group including the bride and groom and just catch up a bit. Mike was pleasant and engaging, Mark's mother very lovely. At the end of the meal, Jeremy arranged for a knife and plates so that he could meticulously carve up each of eight truffles that he, Elizabeth and I had collectively purchased, and share them among the group. It was a mini-chocolate tasting and a great ending to the meal.

The day ended with another soak in the hotel's hot tub, and then it was to bed in preparation for the trip back to Oakland.

For the drive back the next day, we took a slightly different route which took us along more windy, twisty-turny roads, but this time through farm land and redwood forest. We listened to compilations of mash-ups, sang and talked, and got me to the airport with plenty of time to spare before my flight. I met Elizabeth only about 5 minutes after arrival. We sat in one of the airport restaurants and caught up, and ended up being able to sit together on the flight home.

I don't think I could have asked for a better trip, all in all. It was wonderful to see Mark and Shannon married after all this time, and great to be able the share the adventure in such good company. I've been home now a day and a half and my head's still not really back in the game of daily life yet. I suspect it won't be for a day or two more. The cold and the rain are working hard to ground me back in Seattle, but the sunshine and the emotional journey this weekend keep pulling me back to northern California. My head may stay there for a while yet.

I promised myself at the beginning of the summer that I was going to do at least three things I've never done before. Well, as it turned out, I spent most of the summer doing something I've done any number of times before--editing a book. But yesterday I finally did one thing I've never done before. Over the last year or two, I've gotten back in touch with someone I used to work with at Wizards of the Coast (JM), and I met his charming wife (DM) who, as it turns out, is Native American. When I mentioned that I'd never been to a powwow, she got all excited and found one for us to attend.

I did some reading beforehand to get a sense of what the event might be like and, because I knew that it was a spiritual event as much as a social one, I wanted to be sure that I didn't do anything inappropriate, like take pictures. Wikipedia's entry on powwows was actually pretty faithful to my experience, but it's one thing to read about something and another to experience it.

( And so it begins . . .  )

I enjoyed the day a great deal. This step into a different cultural experience was tasty both literally and emotionally. I'm certain that there were layers of meaning and relevance of which I was completely unaware, but I'm grateful to have had the opportunity at least to peek inside. It was a good day indeed.

This weekend is an emotional journey and a day-to-day journey. I'm going to talk about the day-to-day journey in this entry. While I'll talk a little about the emotional journey, well, I won't write about it too deeply right now; I still have a lot to assimilate and consider. I may write about it at some point, but probably in a locked post and probably not this morning. Some things I don't need to share with the Entire World of the Internets.

Mani-pedis and family bonding
Friday morning, my cousin PL's fiance SS picked up my sister-in-law and myself at the hotel, and we all headed off to get mani/pedis. This was a plan that I had proposed because I wanted an opportunity to get to know SS a little better, and because I know that sis-in-law would have done this before she left Long Island anyway. Seemed like a nice way to bond with the girls a bit. I was pleased when SS jumped at the chance; I knew that sis-in-law would be into it. I still feel like I have new skin, two days later. My original thought was to get a French manicure on my fingers and some color on my toes. I ended up getting a sort of pale yellow/gold on both because it was close to my skin tone. As I've spent time in the unrelenting sun here in southern CA, the contrast between my nails and my skin has intensified. So much for a neutral color treatment! Having never gotten a pedicure before, I felt completely pampered and almost embarrassed by all the attention. My sister-in-law was entertained by my reactions to the whole thing.

We followed that up with having lunch at the restaurant that's catering the wedding on Sunday. The food was fresh and light and delicious. We got to know my sister-in-law much better over lunch. She was admirably frank about her personal history, a harrowing and in some respects horrifying odyssey (not mine to share). The fact that she's so together and so remarkably level-headed and, in fact, so vivacious and charming in the wake of all that left a profound impression on me. She clearly adores my cousin (I am biased in the opinion that he deserves such adoration), and I think they are very good for each other.

Tchaikovsky!
Friday evening, my cousin treated 19 of us who had come in from out of town to a dinner and concert at the Hollywood Bowl. The program was Tchaikovsky featuring violin soloist Alexandra Soumm (a positively pyrotechnic performance!), and the evening closed out with the 1812 Overture featuring the USC Marching Band (apparently a big deal around here) and fireworks. The evening was nearly perfect, with the exception of an unsettling encounter with another cousin with whom, well, things were tense, to put it mildly. Two sleeps later, the encounter has dwindled in my perception, but it cast a pall.

Hiking and personal history
Saturday morning, my brother, sister-in-law and I were up early. My cousin PL picked us up and we headed over to Vasquez Rocks for a hike. My brother didn't know where we were going--PL and I deliberately kept it a secret--so when we got there, I was treated to his delight at hiking around the rock formations that featured so prominently in several episodes of Star Trek. My cousin is a docent at another nature center locally, so as we hiked, we were treated to his insights about the local flora and fauna. We are all so clearly related, snapping pictures, examining the littlest things, just sort of soaking up the experience. It was such a great excursion. Unfortunately, the heat took its toll on my sister-in-law, who suffered quite a bit from nausea as a result. By the time we got to a restaurant for lunch afterwards, she was wilting pretty badly. The food helped revive her a little.

After lunch, PL took us over to his house. The place--a 4,000 square-foot mansion which he shared with his first wife--is up for sale. He's staying there until the wedding. This was the first time I'd ever visited the place, and it's beautiful, with skylights and stretches of windows that overlook the entire valley. I've been to large homes before, and the thing that impressed me about this place was that though it's very large, the rooms were of a scale so as not to make it feel overwhelming. Furnished in the pastels that his late wife preferred (the shade dusty rose was a big thing for her; not to my taste but she made it work), it was tranquil even in the lavishness of its furnishings.

As a result of his impending move, PL is downsizing his possessions pretty significantly. At one point, PL said to me, "I have something for you." What he had was a needlepoint that his mother, my much-beloved Aunt Shirley, had made, of a girl reading a book. I've always loved that piece and it will find an honored place on the walls of my home. He also gifted me with one of his late wife's several cameos. I'll be wearing it to the wedding. He gifted my brother with his grandfather's pocketwatch, and my sister-in-law with a beautiful pair of sapphire earrings, again, that belonged to his late wife. I have spent the whole weekend overwhelmed by his love and generosity.

In the wake of all this, I found myself crashing both physically and emotionally. G-d bless varina8 for her love and support when I called her to talk. She is smart and wise and knows me very, very well. I was grateful for the time we spent on the phone together.

Barbecue and chillin' out
Saturday evening, a small group of us went over to SS's home for a little barbecue. It was a fairly small crowd and, as I think about it now, a pretty intimate one in that it was mainly immediate family and very close friends. I was honored to be part of this gathering. I spent a little time talking to PL's goddaughters--lovely girls--whom I've never met before, and chatting with SS's closest friends. The day remained warm but breezes cooled things off to a comfortable temperature. The food was basic barbecue fare: burgers, salad, fruit, topped off with a raspberry lemon bundt cake. A nice relaxing way to close the day.

My bro, sis-in-law, and I spent the rest of the evening hanging out together in my room at the hotel, planning for our Monday excursion and catching up a bit.

Notes
I have spent most of my life pretty estranged from what little family I have. As I experienced last year with my cousin M's funeral, the reconnection with the family has been a pretty emotional journey for me. While I won't get into specifics, it has provoked a lot of reflection. I received an email from my cousin PL this morning expressing his gratitude for my presence this weekend and promising regular visits to Seattle. I . . . don't know how to express my reaction to such a confession and promise. It feels remarkable to me. I have a lot to process.