Christmas trees, Chanukah bushes, and me
Sun, Dec. 19th, 2010 10:35 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
scarlettinaI grew up on Long Island. My family was one of only three Jewish families in our neighborhood. The families around us were mostly Italian Catholic, Irish Catholic, or German Protestant. Many of their kids went to St. Barnabas parochial school. My brother and I went to the secular elementary school, a typical public school with kids from a wide variety of backgrounds, most of whom nevertheless were some flavor of Christian. My parents chose this neighborhood because, as my mother told me, they wanted us to grow up knowing that "there were other people besides Jews in the world." As if that could ever have been in doubt.
Every Christmas our street would be lined with Christmas-lit houses. In every front window a Christmas tree twinkled. And when it snowed, there would always be at least one Santa snowman. Each winter before my father died, we'd take a walk or a drive, usually the weekend before Christmas, to look at all the displays, because they were pretty and different from what we did at holiday time.
There were Jewish neighborhoods in the town where we lived. At least one of them was the tonier neighborhood to the south, where the houses were bigger, the gardens were meticulously trimmed, and the kids went to different schools than we did. Though my family attended a Conservative synagogue, many of the families who were members were more observant than we were though we went to shul most Saturdays.
I had one friend who lived in that tonier neighborhood to the south whose family kept kosher--in the kitchen and dining room. They didn't keep kosher in the family room, where we often had pepperoni pizza or Chinese food (pass the pork-fried rice!) on paper plates with plastic utensils. And her family had a Chanukah bush. It was a large sort of palm bush that they would hang homemade Chanukah ornaments on: dreidels, boxes wrapped like gifts, paper cut-out menorahs, blue glass balls, white glass balls, and Jewish stars. One year I asked about our having a Chanukah bush. My mother was adamant: Chanukah bushes are Christmas trees in disguise, she told me, and have no place in a Jewish home. My father would never have allowed it and neither would she. And that was the end of the conversation.
Cut to: 2010. Last weekend, I attended the annual Christmas gathering that![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
ladyjestocost and bedii throw to help set up and decorate their Christmas tree. I always enjoy this get-together and have fun hanging ornaments. Last night, I attended varina8's lovely annual pre-Christmas event and discussed with other guests her tree, its ornaments, and how each tree is different from home to home.
I was recently in the local Fred Meyer store, the place festooned displays of Christmas merchandise. On sale were artificial trees about 1.5 feet tall; piled nearby were small glass balls in blue and white and silver. And I had a moment. I'm an adult. I can do what I please. Having a Chanukah bush would make my mostly secular Jewish lifestyle no less Jewish than it already is. And then, in the back of my mind, I hear the admonishment: Chanukah bushes are Christmas trees in disguise and have no place in a Jewish home.
Being Jewish in Seattle has always been something of a struggle for me. It's easy for me to keep whatever measure of tradition I want to keep in my own home, but being out in the world here is difficult. Seattle is the only town I've even been in where I've been accosted on the street for being Jewish (in liberal-as-hell Capitol Hill, no less). I've been given a hard time by employers about taking time off for the high holidays. The Seattle Jewish community is pretty insular, so I've often found myself in the position of being a sort of ambassador, and taken whatever teachable moments I could as opportunities to share and educate. And for many local Jews, I seem to be a little too ethnic, a little too East Coast somehow for their comfort. I've found my own small circle of local Jewish friends, but it's been challenging and not always comfortable.
So there I was in Fred Meyer looking at this little tree with the echoes of my mother's words in my head. And I went back and forth about buying a little artificial tree and setting it up. I couldn't do it. I wanted to, but I couldn't do it. I went through this last year, and the year before. I'll probably go through it again next year. And maybe, someday, I'll set up a little Chanukah bush. But for now, I'll skip it. I'll enjoy my friends' Christmas trees and walk through neighborhoods looking at the displays of lights. But then I'll go back to my little mostly secular Jewish home, enjoy my pretty little Chanukiah, and find comfort in it. It's what my parents would have done.
=================================================
List of things I want to write about, updated:
--The movie "Black Swan" Done
--Ripping my CD collection to my computer and the resulting discoveries
--Christmas trees, Chanukah bushes, and me
--Perspective and politics
--Sophie and Spanky--mainly some pictures because I haven't done that in a while Done
--The creation of art (words, pictures, or jewelry) (or lack thereof) in my life right now
--What comes next
Every Christmas our street would be lined with Christmas-lit houses. In every front window a Christmas tree twinkled. And when it snowed, there would always be at least one Santa snowman. Each winter before my father died, we'd take a walk or a drive, usually the weekend before Christmas, to look at all the displays, because they were pretty and different from what we did at holiday time.
There were Jewish neighborhoods in the town where we lived. At least one of them was the tonier neighborhood to the south, where the houses were bigger, the gardens were meticulously trimmed, and the kids went to different schools than we did. Though my family attended a Conservative synagogue, many of the families who were members were more observant than we were though we went to shul most Saturdays.
I had one friend who lived in that tonier neighborhood to the south whose family kept kosher--in the kitchen and dining room. They didn't keep kosher in the family room, where we often had pepperoni pizza or Chinese food (pass the pork-fried rice!) on paper plates with plastic utensils. And her family had a Chanukah bush. It was a large sort of palm bush that they would hang homemade Chanukah ornaments on: dreidels, boxes wrapped like gifts, paper cut-out menorahs, blue glass balls, white glass balls, and Jewish stars. One year I asked about our having a Chanukah bush. My mother was adamant: Chanukah bushes are Christmas trees in disguise, she told me, and have no place in a Jewish home. My father would never have allowed it and neither would she. And that was the end of the conversation.
Cut to: 2010. Last weekend, I attended the annual Christmas gathering that
ladyjestocost and bedii throw to help set up and decorate their Christmas tree. I always enjoy this get-together and have fun hanging ornaments. Last night, I attended varina8's lovely annual pre-Christmas event and discussed with other guests her tree, its ornaments, and how each tree is different from home to home.I was recently in the local Fred Meyer store, the place festooned displays of Christmas merchandise. On sale were artificial trees about 1.5 feet tall; piled nearby were small glass balls in blue and white and silver. And I had a moment. I'm an adult. I can do what I please. Having a Chanukah bush would make my mostly secular Jewish lifestyle no less Jewish than it already is. And then, in the back of my mind, I hear the admonishment: Chanukah bushes are Christmas trees in disguise and have no place in a Jewish home.
Being Jewish in Seattle has always been something of a struggle for me. It's easy for me to keep whatever measure of tradition I want to keep in my own home, but being out in the world here is difficult. Seattle is the only town I've even been in where I've been accosted on the street for being Jewish (in liberal-as-hell Capitol Hill, no less). I've been given a hard time by employers about taking time off for the high holidays. The Seattle Jewish community is pretty insular, so I've often found myself in the position of being a sort of ambassador, and taken whatever teachable moments I could as opportunities to share and educate. And for many local Jews, I seem to be a little too ethnic, a little too East Coast somehow for their comfort. I've found my own small circle of local Jewish friends, but it's been challenging and not always comfortable.
So there I was in Fred Meyer looking at this little tree with the echoes of my mother's words in my head. And I went back and forth about buying a little artificial tree and setting it up. I couldn't do it. I wanted to, but I couldn't do it. I went through this last year, and the year before. I'll probably go through it again next year. And maybe, someday, I'll set up a little Chanukah bush. But for now, I'll skip it. I'll enjoy my friends' Christmas trees and walk through neighborhoods looking at the displays of lights. But then I'll go back to my little mostly secular Jewish home, enjoy my pretty little Chanukiah, and find comfort in it. It's what my parents would have done.
=================================================
List of things I want to write about, updated:
--
--Ripping my CD collection to my computer and the resulting discoveries
--
--Perspective and politics
--
--The creation of art (words, pictures, or jewelry) (or lack thereof) in my life right now
--What comes next
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: Sun, Dec. 19th, 2010 06:46 pm (UTC)At any rate, I'm glad you know your own mind on this.
no subject
Date: Sun, Dec. 19th, 2010 08:33 pm (UTC)*HUGS*
Secular Yule
Date: Sun, Dec. 19th, 2010 09:25 pm (UTC)Interesting. I just set up our Christmas tree here at my mom's house in Truckee. We're up in the snow, so the tree has all crystal ornaments and white lights so it looks like it's covered with ice.
My mom's German (as in moved here when she was twenty one) so the Christmas tree is probably our most important holiday tradition, even if we have never used the traditional candles on the ends of the boughs. My mom tells stories about the Christmas eve party from when she and my father were dating and the tree caught fire, only to have it put out by one of the guests dumping his wine on it. Candles are pretty, but American-style lights are also pretty and far more practical.
Anyway, I was raised up secular--my dad Irish-by-name but also Welsh, English, Scottish, Dutch and just enough Cherokee for interest, and his family having nothing to do with any church since the 1800s, my mom having a christening cup, but only as something pretty in the back of the china cabinet. But the Christmas tree is the old German Tannenbaum, which means "fir tree," and my mom always approached it as a large flower arrangement. And in the 70s, all of our ornaments were blue and silver as well, if just because blue was my mom's favorite color and silver looks prettier with it.
I was also pretty amused in grad school when my Jewish roommate informed me that because I celebrated Christmas, I was Christian, which would have come as a big shock to all the born agains I went to high school with, who were scandalized both by me being atheist-agnostic and also me reading every occult book in the school library.
Which is a bit of a ramble, but I know the Tannenbaum is historically a northern European Yule tradition, and I call it a Christmas tree for convenience, not for any interest in the Christian church. Having it be a Chanukah bush too makes just as much historic sense, and is completely in keeping with the old yuletide spirit of sharing and giving.
If you want to start smaller than a full on tree (honoring your mother's old opinions) maybe just get a Yule wreath instead and decorate it with Chanukah ornaments and colors.
no subject
Date: Sun, Dec. 19th, 2010 10:16 pm (UTC)--Bob
no subject
Date: Mon, Dec. 20th, 2010 07:44 am (UTC)There, I fixed that for you.
no subject
Date: Mon, Dec. 20th, 2010 02:47 pm (UTC)My two reactions:
(1) Living here in the insular midwest, I never knew there were "real" Chanukah bushes. I always thought that was a joke. I don't think I've ever seen one. We had blue and white lights (around the window) when I was a kid, mostly due to my parents giving in to my pleas of some electrical ornamentation. But that was it.
(2) Since we're in a "mixed marriage," M and I have talked about a Christmas tree for years, but never have put one up. It's due mostly to laziness and much less to Religiosity. This year, we took a step closer by decorating a small evergreen in the back yard. (Your parents *might* have approved -- it's not in the house, yet it can be seen from the house.)
no subject
Date: Mon, Dec. 20th, 2010 07:08 pm (UTC)Do you have strong opinions on the South Park take on this (http://www.southparkstudios.com/clips/103722/a-jew-on-christmas)? (link is to "It's hard to be a Jew on Christmas," although my browser is locking up on it)
no subject
Date: Mon, Dec. 20th, 2010 11:38 pm (UTC)That said, here's the gist of the points I wanted to share:
"Christmas trees" have been around longer than Christians. The only real new thing is candles/electric lights, and while they've always been a a form of 'prayer' or 'worship' who it's to isn't set in stone.
Pretty is the main reason that most of the non-religious people I know put up trees, and the reason that some of the Buddhists I know put them up.
And ultimately for me the thing that defines the action that makes it a "Christmas Tree" in disguise or not is the intent - if there is no religious intent, then it's just a pretty tree.
I hope that you find the answers you need on this, and have a great new year.