Cat Music (silliness for a Thursday)

[scarlettina]

Shortly after I adopted my beloved Flatbush, I began crooning to him. Usually I'd sing to him when we were heading to the vet, but I then began to sing to him more often. Usually it was just random silliness. Eventually, however, I realized that the first lines of the Beatles song, "Blackbird" scanned really well for a typical Flatbush behavior. Before long, I'd composed a song for the cat based on that melody:

Flatbush meowing in the dead of night
Take these kitty wings and learn to fly
All your life
You were only waiting for your dinner to arrive
Flatbush meow
Flatbush meow
Into the light of the dark black night

I sang that song to him his entire life: when we went to the vet, when I brushed him, sometimes before I hit the sack. It was the Flatbush song.

I spent years trying to come up with something for Merlin. Years. I felt bad that he didn't have a theme song. It was only in the last two months of his life that I came up with something that stuck. It was sung to the tune of the theme from "I Dream of Jeannie":

Merlin
Merlin the handsome
Merlin
Merlin the handsome
Merlin
Merlin the handsome cat
(repeat)

He's orange
He's orange and he's stripey
He's orange and he's stripey
He does things I can't explain

That's because he's Merlin
Merlin the handsome
Merlin
Merlin the handsome
Merlin
Merlin the handsome cat

And so I'd found the perfect theme song for Merlin in his last days.

It never even occurred to me to come up with a song for Spanky (seen in the icon); I don't know why. But lately, probably prompted by Merlin's departure, I've been obsessing over a song for Spanky. I have two contenders, neither of which is yet fully formed. One would be sung to the tune of "Santa Baby" except that I can't get past the first line: "Spanky-doodle, I'll put some catnip under the tree for thee" (but that seems a little labored). The other could be sung to the Steve Perry song, "Oh Sherry." "Oh Spanky, our love holds on, holds on." Somehow, that seems weird.

I know that those who have encountered Spanky have seen his cranky side a little more than his sweet side. I excuse this by explaining that it's because he's old and he's spoiled. Could be he's just a natural curmudgeon. Or because no matter how hard I work at making his eyes comfortable, they never will be (he's got a chronic dry eye condition), and so he's grouchy. But he is a sweet cat and I want to have a song for him.

So, based on the above, any ideas for lyrics? Help me, LJ hivemind! You're my only hope!

Comments

[oldmangrumpus.livejournal.com]

I think it should stem from Felix the Cat...

Spanky the Cat
The really really fat cat....

[scarlettina.livejournal.com]

I should have bet money on a) your being the first to respond to this post and b) taking pot shots at my pussy cat's weight. He's not really, really fat. He's . . . pleasantly plump. A soft squishy armful. A ponderous pile of purr. Spanky.

[oldmangrumpus.livejournal.com]

A ball of fur, a great big purr
Never been known to chase a rat
That's just Spanky
The really fat cat

[dancinghorse.livejournal.com]

Oh, Spanky, you're so cranky,
Yes you are,
Yes you are!

You can thank me for the earworm later. After I've absconded to the Outer Magellanic Cloud.

[scarlettina.livejournal.com]

You're a bad, bad woman. :-)

[eilisflynn.livejournal.com]

Thank goodness I'm not the only one who does this!

[scarlettina.livejournal.com]

::chuckle:: Not in the least.

[joyful-storm.livejournal.com]

I now feel much less silly - or, alone in my silliness - for singing "You are my Emrys, my only Emrys, you make me happy when fur is grey", or re: Thalia, "I'm a little kit-cat, short and stout; here is my bobtail and here is my snout".

Nevermind all the feeding song adaptations. So many, ranging from Mozart to Rush.

[dreamline.livejournal.com]

I'm thinking along the lines of Barry Manilow's "Mandy".

[katatomic.livejournal.com]

Oh lord, now you've got me thinking of all the songs we've sung to our ferrets... like "Figie the Queen of the Foos" to the tune of "Lydia the Tattooed Lady" and "I Ate My Chewie/The Theme Song to the Gus-Gus of Seville", "Dexter the Foo" to "Felix the Cat", and the Gus-alluia Chorus. Taz never had a theme song, unless it was "Taz, Taz, Taz of the Jungle!"

Though for Spanky, I think perhaps something to the tune of "Davy Crockett":

Spanky! Spanky-Doodle!
King of the Cranky Cats!

(naturally I can't remember the rest of the tune...)


Or possibly to "Ricky":

O Spanky, you're so fine
You're cranky, cranky all the time!
Hey Spanky! Hey Spanky!

Hey Spanky, you're all mine
You shed upon me all the time!
Hey Spanky, Hey Spanky!

O Spanky, you're so pudgy,
But you're my special boy
You know you own my heart
but you treat it like a toy

...

And that's where I lose it.

[scarlettina.livejournal.com]

We may be on to something with either of these.

As for your last remark, well, yes, but you excel at stating the obvious. ;-)

[katatomic.livejournal.com]

Well... y'know... I am a very bad person....

[kistha.livejournal.com]

And now I'm ad-libbing "Ricky" everywhere.

Good gods.

Funny, and thanks, I think. :)

[katatomic.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry... mostly.

[frabjouslinz.livejournal.com]

He could be Spanky, Spanky, faster than lightning.

But I like the idea of using Mandy. Oh Spanky, you came and you ate without ceasing, and you snuggled away...

PS I totally do this, as well as make up randome weird nicknames for my pets. It's amazing any of them knew their real names.

[mevennen.livejournal.com]

>PS I totally do this, as well as make up randome weird nicknames for my pets. It's amazing any of them knew their real names

Thank God someone else does this - it makes me feel marginally less weird. Sid is known sometimes as 'Id,' as he is probably mine, and occasionally as 'Kidney.' My partner always refers to him as 'Posh Sidney' - I don't know why.

Don't do songs, though, but since I am spectacularly lacking in musical ability, it's probably a good thing.

[frabjouslinz.livejournal.com]

I know - Abby was Abby Tabby, Abby the Crabby Tabby, Abierto, Teh Meowsers, Baby Bierto, and The Loudest Cat in Creation. Reggie was Reggers, Bratigan, Senior (Spanish, with the squiggle) Mustachio, Baby Boy, and Mr. Muffers. It's a sickness, really. I think my eventual children will hate this about me. :)

[e-bourne.livejournal.com]

Don't hate me. But this came to me right away.

Oh, the shark, babe, has such teeth, dear
And it shows them pearly white
Just five claws has little spankster
And he keeps them out of sight.

when that shark bites, with his teeth, babe
Scarlet billows start to spread
Velvet paws, though, wears the Spankster
So there’s never a trace of red.

Now on the couch on a sunny morning
Lies a hand just oozin' life … eeek!
And someone’s sneakin' ‘round the corner
Could that someone be Spanky the Knife?

Now … (Insert friend's names here
Oh, the line forms on the right, babe
Now that Spanky's back in town.

[scarlettina.livejournal.com]

::blush::grimmace::

Oh dear.

[pixxelpuss.livejournal.com]

I kind of like the Santa-Baby one.