Kitty picspam for a Thursday morning

It's Merlin picspam, to be specific. I've mentioned that he's doing things that he's never done before (and also that he used to know he wasn't allowed to do). ( Well, here's photographic proof. )

A mind of his own, that one.

Learning is remembering what you already know

I am not comfortable being the new kid or a beginner. I'm just not. In such situations, my perfectionist tendencies and my own insecurities turn me into a tense, detail-oriented little stress bunny. All this considered, it's good that I learn new things quickly and develop my skills pretty fast. In new situations, I find my niche soon enough. But for that brief period at the start, I am always a little freaked out, at least on the inside.

Tonight in my Photoshop class, I felt like the beginner I am. With help, I used the new tools we learned about, and I practiced in the time we had to try to cement the knowledge. But at the end of the class, when I sat back from the computer, I realized that I'd been hunched over, my neck and shoulders bunched tight. I'd barely breathed as I peered at the screen, pushing pixels and transforming shapes. When I rolled my head to loosen up my neck, the snap-crackle-pop was audible. It took me most of the drive home to destress--and I'm not done yet. I can still feel the stress seeping away. There will be wine before bed.

My instructor said something interesting at the end of class when I said that I hadn't realized how anxious the process was making me. She said, "Don't be anxious. Be curious."

And I had to ask myself why I was anxious. After all, taking the class was my choice, and I look forward to it each week. I've been sitting next to a woman who had a foundation in Photoshop before she came to class. Tonight she picked up the tools far more quickly than I did. Upon consideration, I realized that I had been worried that I missed some crucial part of the lesson because I wasn't picking it up as quickly. But it wasn't me; she was just more familiar with the tool.

My instructor is right: I need to approach this process with curiosity and joy. Usually, for me, it's fear and arrogance, kinda like playing baseball: Never let'em see you sweat and always look like you know more than anyone else in the room. When you wonder what I learned in the corporate halls of Manhattan, that was Lesson Number One. Or maybe I learned that from watching Bull Durham. Anyway, the point is, I need to unlearn that lesson. (Okay, that's Yoda, I'm certain.) And relax. And enjoy the process. It always works better that way.