My body, weight loss and other things that make me crazy

[scarlettina]

So, a couple of years back, I lost about 60 pounds. It was a lot of very gratifying, very hard work and I was very proud of myself.

And then I got stuck. I plateaued at about 40 pounds from my goal. I looked and felt better than I had in years, but I was nowhere near my ultimate goal. With my doctor's prohibition against high-impact exercise, I was kind of screwed, because the high-impact stuff is what I was really loving: running and Jazzercise. Now, you can do Jazzercise as a low-impact thing, but I always find myself feeling restrained and like I'm not working as hard as I want to. Other ideas were suggested--swimming, urban skiing. But none of them appealed. Bicycling was suggested; I even have a bike--but it's not proportioned properly for me and isn't really comfortable to ride, so there it sits in my storage unit gathering dust (about which, let me tell you, I actually feel a great deal of guilt).

I quit Weight Watchers about a year ago after a year of being plateaued and being frustrated to tears by it. Despite having lost two thirds of my total--and despite having maintained that loss--I felt like a failure. In the process, I've gained back about 25 pounds. My body feels terrible, my clothes feel terrible, and I think I look pretty terrible. This prompted me to buy a scale and to try to get back on the goddamn horse. There's a particular milestone that I'm approaching. At that milestone, I've placed myself, like Gandalf, saying, "You shall not pass." And I won't. I can't.

We've got this thing at work, the Summer Games, where we organize into teams and try to walk as many steps in 6 weeks as possible. That means strapping on my pedometer every day and trying to bump myself up past 10,000 steps per day. In the games, if you exceed a certain average number of steps, you start earning discounts on your heath benefits. I've earned two-thirds of the full benefit so far. Last year, I earned the complete benefit. I'm hoping that with my effort this week and weekend, I'll succeed in earning the whole benefit. It has the added fillip of getting me moving more.

Now I've got to get my food into shape. I've been using MyFitnessPal on my iPhone to track my food, though not as vigilantly as I could. I need to get better about that. I also need to read through all my WW materials again and try to refresh myself on the food balance that helped me so successfully a couple of years ago. I don't want to go back to where I started when I first started with Weight Watchers. I can't go back there. I looked pretty terrible and I didn't realize how bad I felt until I didn't feel that way any more. That way lies . . . well, frankly, death, given my family's medical history, and I can't do that to myself. I have way too much to live for.

And I'd never hear the end of it from Sophie and Zeke.

Comments

[oldmangrumpus.livejournal.com]

You don't look terrible.

And you CAN do this!!

[joycemocha.livejournal.com]

That makes two of us. Want to collaborate?

[wolflahti.livejournal.com]

Swimming is a wonderful exercise—few things make me feel quite as good afterwards—but everything I've read says it does not contribute to weight loss.

[varina8.livejournal.com]

I've always admired your style, pizazz and self-discipline. You will do this. If you ever want a walking buddy, just ask. I need all the exercise I can get.

[kate-schaefer.livejournal.com]

I got a bicycle for my birthday in March, which I rode with great enjoyment for a few weeks until I strained my piriformis and had to stop. After some weeks of physical therapy, I had an appointment with George the bicycle specialist, who fit my bike to my body and made some suggestions about what I should do when cycling so I won't hurt myself in the future.

Right after that, we left the country for the longest vacation of our lives, so I haven't been on the bike since then and can't report on whether George is the miracle worker that I think he is, but I can say that he had me riding the bike for quite a long time on a trainer without pain. If you're interested in getting back to the bike, I cautiously recommend that option. The PT office is Action/Reaction, and here's a link: http://actionreactionpt.com/bike-fitting-important/

You can take care of yourself. You do have way too much to live for.

[irrationalrobot.livejournal.com]

If you can find someone to help you pick out a bike (test drive three or four, find one that fits you and is comfortable), then I'd say go for it. You've already mentioned that your current bike is uncomfortable, so there probably is no reason to have it.

wordknitter would probably have more to say here- she's been using MyFitnessPal and attending exercise classes pretty regularly, and it has been great for her.

[varina8.livejournal.com]

Also, if you go the new bike route, some shops take trade-ins.

[aberwyn.livejournal.com]

First and foremost: don't beat yourself up over the weight gain. That's self-defeating. You are fighting half a million years of evolution, don't forget. When we lose a lot of weight, our bodies think "Famine!!!" and try their best to put it all back on again.

[prettyshrub.livejournal.com]

Janna, I have always thought you looked great whatever your size. Furthermore, you are more than your looks. You are intelligent, talented, loving, funny and generous.

I think your feeling good has more to do with exercise and eating right than the weight loss itself. I hope you don't lose either of those.

Please, please, please, do not feel like a failure. Every study I have ever read shows that it is incredibly difficult to lose and maintain weight loss.

You have many, many people who love you and wish you well.

*HUGS*

[scarlettina.livejournal.com]

I don't think that I feel like a failure any more. Stepping away from Weight Watchers for a while has alleviated that sensation. Now I'm just focusing on eating right and making an effort to walk 10,000 steps per day. I want to start slowly, get to a maintenance point so that I don't pass my milestone, and then start the push back downward.

Thank you so much for your support. :-)