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On Comfort Eating
Sat, Feb. 18th, 2012 08:33 amRecently, I mentioned my reach-for-food-for-comfort habit as part of a larger entry on being in maintenance mode. This self-medication with food is a lifelong habit, and one of the subgoals of my weight loss has been to learn other comfort strategies, other ways to deal with stress or sadness or boredom than by reaching for food.
Yesterday, I received news that didn't make me happy. As I said to![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
overratedomac, I couldn't even really feel sad about it; I just felt numb and frustrated. As I wrote in the above-linked entry, I thought long and hard about going to get myself a sweet treat that would pack a significant calorie and fat-count hit to comfort myself. Somehow, though, it wasn't a very appealing prospect, mainly because I wasn't hungry. Putting more food inside me when I already felt full just seemed like an unpleasant prospect and not terribly comforting at all. I just let myself feel bad, planting myself on the couch and watching episodes of the History Channel series, UFO Files.
This is the first time I can ever remember consciously rejecting food as a self-medication strategy. It's the first time I can remember thinking that food would actually make me feel worse. That's a remarkable thing for me and I feel like I need to mark it as a milestone, because it's a major turning point in my changing attitudes about food and in my behavior.
Now, in the past I have turned to exercise instead of food for comfort. It's always been a conscious effort, and not always one I did willingly or with enthusiasm. This event feels different because it was almost instinctive. It was, "Bleh, food will make me feel worse," not "It's not good for me to eat because it's a bad reaction--but I want to eat--but I won't." I have turned to sleep instead of eating, but in some ways that's just as bad, because it turns off my head and I don't deal with whatever it is that's upsetting me, at least not consciously.
So I guess where I'm going with all of this is that yesterday I chose to just feel what I was feeling. I didn't numb myself with overeating, and though I thought about comfort eating, I was actively repelled by the thought. That's really something.
Yesterday, I received news that didn't make me happy. As I said to
overratedomac, I couldn't even really feel sad about it; I just felt numb and frustrated. As I wrote in the above-linked entry, I thought long and hard about going to get myself a sweet treat that would pack a significant calorie and fat-count hit to comfort myself. Somehow, though, it wasn't a very appealing prospect, mainly because I wasn't hungry. Putting more food inside me when I already felt full just seemed like an unpleasant prospect and not terribly comforting at all. I just let myself feel bad, planting myself on the couch and watching episodes of the History Channel series, UFO Files.This is the first time I can ever remember consciously rejecting food as a self-medication strategy. It's the first time I can remember thinking that food would actually make me feel worse. That's a remarkable thing for me and I feel like I need to mark it as a milestone, because it's a major turning point in my changing attitudes about food and in my behavior.
Now, in the past I have turned to exercise instead of food for comfort. It's always been a conscious effort, and not always one I did willingly or with enthusiasm. This event feels different because it was almost instinctive. It was, "Bleh, food will make me feel worse," not "It's not good for me to eat because it's a bad reaction--but I want to eat--but I won't." I have turned to sleep instead of eating, but in some ways that's just as bad, because it turns off my head and I don't deal with whatever it is that's upsetting me, at least not consciously.
So I guess where I'm going with all of this is that yesterday I chose to just feel what I was feeling. I didn't numb myself with overeating, and though I thought about comfort eating, I was actively repelled by the thought. That's really something.